🎙 Music Therapy & Childhood Mental Health

Guest: Harry Harris

Tosin (Host):
Okay, and welcome to the Free To Be Podcast. I’ve wanted to start this for a long time but kept postponing it. I’m really happy we’re starting today.

I’ll begin with some solo episodes, but every other week I’ll be interviewing someone. Our first guest today is Harry Harris — I really love that name, it’s sweet. Harry Harris!

Harry, how are you doing?

Harry:
I’m good, man. I’m good.

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🎯 The Aim of the Podcast

Tosin (Host):
The aim of this podcast is to raise public awareness that there are other ways of addressing mental health — not just traditional medication or counselling.

Mental health is often about not being able to express yourself fully. That’s why expressive therapies matter — dance therapy, drama therapy, music therapy, art therapy. There are so many ways to express yourself.

Life is meant to be expressed.
When you stop expressing yourself, that stopping process can become depression.

That’s why we’re encouraging people to go out there and express themselves.

I’m speaking to Harry today because he does a lot around mental health on his Facebook group. I saw him go live one day — he was even playing a few strings on his guitar — and I thought, I love what you’re doing. Let’s connect and have this conversation.

So Harry, thank you for coming. Why did you want to discuss this? What was your main focus?

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🧠 Harry’s Experience with Depression

Harry:
Growing up — around age 11 or 12 — I started experiencing different things. Just life, school, high school.

But it wasn’t until I lost my grandma that I started experiencing depression. I was about 14 or 15.

It completely threw me off. It was something I’d never experienced before. From that point, it opened my eyes to depression, anxiety — everything that comes with mental health.

That’s one of the reasons I want to talk about this. I want to show people that it’s not just about talking — there are other ways to deal with depression and mental health.

It’s very hard.

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Tosin (Host):
I’m sorry to hear that. At 15, that’s very young.

A lot of times we see young people going about and assume they’re fine — like they have nothing to worry about. But clearly that’s not the case.

Do you think a lot of people around that age are going through things we don’t see?

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👦 Youth Mental Health Being Overlooked

Harry:
Definitely.

At that age, there’s so much going on — school exams, family situations, things they feel they can’t talk about.

There are many things adults aren’t aware of when it comes to young people. Sometimes you have to stop and think, “There might actually be something behind this behaviour.”

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Tosin (Host):
Why do you think mental health in younger people — from teens to early twenties — is often overlooked?

What can we do about it?

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Harry:
I think it’s overlooked because people assume young children don’t have much to worry about.

But some kids are looking after parents. Some are helping raise younger siblings. Some are carrying responsibilities we don’t even realise.

All of those things build up — and eventually it can explode.

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Tosin (Host):
And sometimes parents themselves are going through mental health issues, which can spill over onto the children.

So when we’re supporting adults, we should also consider what their children are experiencing. It has to be holistic.

Harry, can you walk us through how you felt internally during that time?

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💭 Internal Struggles

Harry:
It was very hard.

At first, it was shock — losing someone I loved dearly. For months I struggled to come to grips with what had happened.

I had bottled things up for years. It’s very easy to do that — and I still do sometimes.

But at some point I realised I had to talk.

It was hard juggling school and everything else while trying to process everything. I had to find things that helped — going out with friends, chatting for five or ten minutes, playing on the games console.

But sometimes even those things don’t always help.

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👨‍👩‍👦 Talking to Parents

Tosin (Host):
What about parents? A lot of young people don’t talk to their parents — not because the parents are doing something wrong, but there’s often hesitation.

What are your thoughts?

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Harry:
It depends on the person.

Sometimes I could talk to my parents, sometimes I didn’t — because I didn’t want to burden them.

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Tosin (Host):
So you were trying to protect your parents?

Harry:
Yeah.

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🔎 What Can We Do?

Tosin (Host):
What can we proactively do? Is it down to the parents? The child? The doctors?

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Harry:
I think it’s multi-layered.

Ultimately, only you can decide what you want to achieve. For me, I had to find ways of coping — not just alone, but generally.

Distracting myself helped. Going out. Doing different things. Trying to build myself back up.

Because the more you sit and reflect without movement, the further down you can go.

Parents can check in on their child, but sometimes parents need more understanding about what’s actually going on. There are things happening now that some parents don’t fully see — and sometimes they don’t want to hear it because it’s their child.

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🧩 Behaviour & Misdiagnosis

Tosin (Host):
Did you experience any behavioural problems?

Because sometimes children come to the surgery and parents say,
“This child has ADHD.”
“This child has autism.”
“This child has something — because he’s not doing this, not doing that.”

Do you think sometimes behaviour might actually be an underlying mental health issue playing out?

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Harry:
In some aspects, yes.

Especially nowadays, people quickly jump to labels. A child shows signs of something and instantly it’s, “You’ve got this. You’ve got that.”

But behaviour can come from emotional build-up.

For me, some days I’d be fine. Other days, I’d lash out. I’d snap at someone for no real reason. It would just break out.

That’s when I realised I needed to talk to someone.

I strongly believe in this idea:

Imagine you have a bottle.
Every problem is a pebble.
Every day you drop one in.

Eventually, the bottle fills up.

And when there’s no more space — it shatters.

For me, I was putting more pebbles in than I was taking out. I had everything happening at once and couldn’t stop it from flowing.

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🗣 Who Did You Talk To?

Tosin (Host):
You keep saying you talked to someone. Who were those people?

Did you have mentors? Do you think young people need mentors?

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Harry:
For me, I spoke to a lot of different people.

At first it was my mum, my dad, my siblings. Then friends and extended family.

I knew I needed to talk.

But when you go to the doctor and say, “I feel like I have depression,” you get referred to specialists.

In my experience, it felt like they just had a clipboard, ticked boxes, and sent me away.

That’s when I realised that sometimes people want to talk — but they feel pushed away. Or like they’re just a name on a clipboard.

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🤝 The Power of Close Bonds

Tosin (Host):
So you felt the most help came from people you already knew?

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Harry:
Yes. Strong, close bonds.

Talking to people you trust — someone you feel comfortable with — makes a big difference.

When you talk bit by bit, it’s like taking a chip off your shoulder.

You think you’re burdening them — but you’re not.

You’re releasing something you’ve been carrying.

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Tosin (Host):
But some young people don’t feel they can talk to their parents. They might feel trapped.

So your campaign is really about encouraging people to speak to someone within their confidence zone?

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Harry:
Exactly. Yes.

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🎵 Music as a Turning Point

Tosin (Host):
You mentioned music helped you. How did that begin?

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Harry:
It started in primary school.

We had a performance, and I asked the drum teacher if I could try something different. There was a snare drum, and I started messing around with it.

I loved it.

From there, music became a passion.

It inspired me. It became a way of escaping — but not escaping in a negative way. It actually helped.

Even just having a little boogie, a dance — it helps.

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🎸 What Music Feels Like

Tosin (Host):
When you’re going through something difficult and you pick up your guitar or drums — what does it feel like internally?

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Harry:
It feels like everything else disappears.

Like you’re in a room and all you can hear is yourself.

Everything fades away.

I started writing instrumentals on guitar. Just closing my eyes and playing.

Or even just putting on your favourite song and closing your eyes.

It brings relief.

For me, music is healing.

Even one chord can change your mood.

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🎶 Country Music Moment

Tosin (Host):
I love country music. Dolly Parton. Don Williams.

“Coat of many colours that my mama made for me…”
It’s powerful.

Music carries emotion.

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🎼 Advice About Music & Mental Health

Harry:
My advice is: experiment.

Try different genres. Don’t limit yourself.

Music is about exploring.

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🧠 Redirecting Mental Energy

Tosin (Host):
When we think about depression and anxiety, it’s often being stuck in your head — spiralling thoughts.

“I’m not good enough.”
“Everyone’s judging me.”
“People don’t like me.”

Most of those thoughts aren’t true.

But when you redirect that mental energy into something creative — like strumming a guitar — your focus shifts.

Instead of spiralling, you’re concentrating.

That mental shift can change how you feel.

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✍️ Turning Pain Into Expression

Harry:
I just want to add one more thing.

When you’re going through a hard time, music can be a very good tool.

For me, I’ve written a few songs that I want to publish — they’re not finished yet. But when you’re going through something rough, instead of running it over and over in your head, put it down on paper. Pick up an instrument. Play.

Bingo.

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Tosin (Host):
Wow. That’s powerful.

So instead of letting thoughts spiral in your head —
you write it down. You put it into music.

That’s such a powerful nugget.

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Harry:
That’s what helps me.

I still go through stages where I overthink things. Instead of saying, “What if I did this?” or “What if I did that?” — I pick up the guitar and start playing. Or I write it down on my phone or a bit of paper.

It helps you express it.

I’d rather sit down and write lyrics that mean something than go somewhere and feel like it’s just lip service — like I explained before, being ticked off on a clipboard and sent home.

When you sit at home, feel something, write it down, pick up your guitar and play — that’s release.

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🎸 Advice to Young People

Tosin (Host):
What would you say to any young person struggling right now?

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Harry:
If you’re struggling and feel like you need to talk — find someone you trust.

Talk to them.

Find ways to deal with things better.

If you can’t find someone immediately, expand into hobbies. Try different activities.

For me, gaming helps. I play on Xbox.

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Harry:
But honestly — gaming can be controversial because parents say, “You’re always on your console.” But even half an hour can take you into a different reality.

You’re away from what you’re trying to escape.

Sometimes you just need a break from thinking.

I also stream on Twitch. People join, watch, chat. It builds connection.

But overall — be active.

Go for a walk. Go for coffee. Meet friends. Go to an open mic night.

Even small things can help your mind and your soul.

There was a stage where I stayed in my bedroom for weeks. I only left for food and drink.

That’s when I realised I needed to change something.

Small actions helped.

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🌍 Building Community

Tosin (Host):
You’re doing something on Facebook as well?

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Harry:
Yes.

I go live every other Monday at 6pm on Facebook. It’s about an hour or two.

People can join, comment, even hop on video and chat.

It’s about creating a safe space. A community. A family.

If someone feels trapped and can’t speak to someone close to them — there’s always someone on the other end.

That’s what I’m building.

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💃 Ending with Expression

Tosin (Host):
That’s amazing. Thank you for sharing your story.

Before we finish the Free To Be podcast… we have to dance.

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(Music and dancing)
“It’s Free to Be! Let’s go!”